Blog #5

     I try not to live in my pain. I try not to make it my whole experience. When I look at what the doctors have diagnosed me with, I find it hard to believe it is me. But, the truth really is that I feel like my body has given up on me. I live with my pets and have only one friend where I live. I live very isolated.  Doing this assignment has really hit me with the truth that I deal with.  I know I am not any fun to the people that were my friends.  My pain has cost me my friends, my spouse and makes me feel ashamed that I have to count on medication for my pain.
Today has been a good day. I planted over 200 flower bulbs, and my back and knee were giving me problems. I came in the house, sat for a minute and the pain lessened to where I didn't need anything for pain. I count my days by hoping for the good days when Idont have to take anything. I don't want to get addicted to my meds.
2] I usually only think about the pain when it gets real bad.  I don't think about everything that is wrong with my body as that would only cause other problems.  Other people will mention their pain and I feel bad for them. I know what they are going through but, I don't mention my own issues. Nobody really wants to hear about anothers health issues, and, I am much more than a person in pain, I really think I can be interesting more so without burdening others or turning off the people I interact with.
When in public I am careful in what chair I sit in, what I eat and what I say.
When in pain, all I think about is how to stop it. My back aches so bad I can feel it down to my knees. My knees are bone on bone and need to be replaced. When my knees are rough at the same time as the back,. the pain radiates all the way down my legs. I also have diabetic neuropathy which also gives problems in my feet. I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, which can cause pain in my whole body, so when all act up at the same time, I take my pain meds and crawl into bed, waiting for them to begin to work.
Mentally., I do get depressed but my doctor has me on Effexor which he said is for depression but is also used with people with fibromyalgia, so, I would be much worse without.  I had an incident two years ago when I was found in a coma and had been in one for several days before found. The cause of the coma was related to being in pain and feeling depressed. After that, I had a real difficult finding a new doctor. Because of the pain and need for meds, most of them didn't want to deal with me. Thankfully, I did find a doctor who takes his time and really listens.
An example for this week is that I was not able to go to church as I was hurting and the meds didn't kick in, in time. If I am already hurting, I am worried that it could get worse when I get to where I am going.
     The pain stops me from interacting with others, or, I make it as short of an interaction as possible. I know this contributes to my isolation and I am aware that I really need to do something about this.

3]
         Sometimes it isn't until the middle of the day that I realize I am having a pain free day. On those days, I just want to do something, anything.  Wishing I had more friends to visit, to pass the time with. I usually just go outside and mess around in the garden, but, I still feel that not only is the pain missing but the isolation feels even stronger and I wonder if any of it will really change. When I have a pain free day, I have a tough time believing that it could ever be permanent.  I also miss working and on those good days, I even dream of going back to work.
4]
I don't know ahead of time when I am going to have a good or bad day. Each day goes by with me feeling like it is all the same. I forget what day I am on and have to check on the television or computer to figure out what day it is. I don't feel like I can make any plans to do anything or any socializing because I just don't know how I am going to feel that day. I make lame excuses as to why I cant make it because I don't want to bore people with my issues. I want to appear as normal as a person can be at my age.  I continue to be controlled by how my body feels when it wakes up in the morning.
5]  Internally, I relate best to the person not in chronic pain. Unfortunately, as I struggle to be in my preferred mode of relating, I begin to feel severe pain that brings me back to my reality. It is a very difficult battle  If I do have plans, I will take my pain meds as soon as I wake up, and make sure I have some with me.  These will get me through whatever I am involved in. I just wish I could function without the meds.
6]  If there was a med that could give me back my day, I would plan a big day in advance. I am not sure I would check to see the efficacy or safety of the med.,  I would just like the chance to feel normal and participate in some of the activities I have had to give  up.  If a med stated it could give me back my life, I would suspiciously wonder what the trade off was. I would want to know what the other costs to me was. I don't know what I would do if a med would give me back my life but there were trade offs such as loss of years, or other side effects.
At the most, I would like to try to have a day without pain, just to see what that was like,. but. I think I am too leary to try a med stating to give you back your pain free life. I just wouldn't trust it until I read long term reviews about the medication. Right now, pain has become so much of who I am, I don't remember who I was before it.

Blog #4

1     The United States is a cultural experience in which all nationalities are represented.  Thus, Aleve is a non discriminatory pain reliever, a pain reliever that can be adjusted for children as well as geriatric populations.
In this world there are babies teething, men and women doing construction work, individuals handicapped from a condition or accident, there is Aleve to help them get through the day,  From liquid for babies to timed release pills for adults. They have a space in most medicine cabinets in every home, from a one room cabin to a multi million dollar home, Aleve is a non discriminatory pain reliever.  This corner of the world sometimes start the day as being a gray day, but with Aleve. slowly begins to be taken over by a quiet, calm peace with sunshine brightening even the darkest of corners.
Aleves; mission is to brighten everyones space. Keeping a baby calm and pain free, spreading to the mother who may be experience some after birth pain of her own, to the father who works hard, Aleve strives to make his day a bit easier for him. On to the boss, who often feels the crunch of being caught in the middle, Aleve addresses his stress head and body aches, and the cycle continues. Aleve works hard at educating the public and addressing all forms of stress and pain and the attitude adjustment gets passed on throughout the day.



2]Advil has its uses but for me personally, I prefer Aleve. That is the only OTC in my home, Advil does not seem to be advertised as often as Aleve, and it is also Aleve that my friends seem to have in their homes as well. I think I was only offered Aleve in the hospital and not offered Advil  There is not that strong, safe, secure expectation I have as when I am using Aleve.  Aleve takes away my rainy day, leaving a rainbow in its wake. With Advil, I feel fortunate if the rain stops and we go from being cloudy to partly cloudy./sunny..


3] Pretty much answered this in part 2. I am not sure if it is because of the advertising or if I am basing it all on personal experience, I just know that Aleve is the preferred pain reliever amongst my own family and my friends. My elderly, sick mother can only take Aleve and she counts on it to help with her daily pain.

I have counted on Aleve when I had bad menstrual cramps. It was the only over the counter pain reliever that worked, and taking it once last most of the day, much better than anything else I tried.  So, I have a history of counting on it, and now I use it when my pain is really strong and I want to have extra help. I have found that if I take Aleve along with Percocet, it works quicker and lasts longer. It also is not hard on my kidneys and stomach. I probably use this concoction about three times a week. My doctor is ok with that. Use of it also does such a good job, I only have to take something for pain once a day instead of the four I am prescribed.

Blog #3

1]     I live in a very small town where income for most is very limited.  This really shows when you go into the store or the pharmacy where you can find the lower priced items such as aspirin, or maybe some icy hot to rub on for pain, but they are missing things such as microwavable wraps or TENS units, anything that people may either be suspicious of or are just unsure if it would work for them and they don't have enough money to take a chance on something new that they just discard.  Most of what they have to offer I am way beyond them working for me, and much of what they carry that is in pill or liquid form, I cannot use because I had major stomach surgery last year and cannot digest these in most forms.
2]  I generally do not make a trip to the store to look for pain relief.  I am on prescription medication as my health has gone beyond what an aspirin would take care of. I actually spend more time looking at items when I am not searching for one particular item.
3] I do like to look to see what new devices there are though.  The last thing I tried was a TENS unit and that was the wrong thing for me to use. I ended up in the emergency room with back spasms that were the worse I have ever experienced.  I have purchased some OTC pain reliever to take along with my prescription meds when I am trying not to use so much of the opiates/narcotics. Even then, I cannot take anything that is time release or in capsule form due to my past surgery. Brand doesn't affect me that much as I look to see what the active ingredients are, many of the 'generic' versions are pretty much identical to the brand name versions.
4]  There are several devices I wouldn't mind trying if I could afford to.  
What I do when I find something rather expensive to try is I will do an internet search of reviews to see what others who already have it think

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After this checks out, I will often go to Amazon which is where I get a lot of my things from., and will do a check to see who carries the item cheapest and what the sellers rating is.  A lot of this I cannot do in a store, and, I would have to drive around to look for similar items.

What isn't for me is most of the creams, and OTC pain relievers. My pharmacist has said that the creams really do not work and I cannot take many of the OTC.  In the area of the country where I live, you really don't have a lot of choices, they are not too up to date on new items.  I do think it would be great if stores offered some type of service where you can check out the reviews of any product before you buy it.

5]The only things I can really think of are already offered in one version or another. I would even appreciate it if I had a heated massage pad, although, my back can get so sensitive that just touching it lightly will agitate it. I have had injections in my spine, in my knees, they have not worked at all.    I haven't done much with natural healers, I need to get myself over the mindset that they wont work if the prescription ones don't.   .

Blog #2

1]  I picture myself with a medium weight ball and chain permanently locked around my whole body.  Not so heavy that I cannot move at all but heavy enough to make movement difficult.
I have daily pain, fluctuating in levels and areas where I am feeling it. It has completely overtaken activities I enjoy. I can no longer go horseback riding, bowl, go fishing and really struggle to go on the long walks with my dogs that we enjoy. It has negatively affected my personal relationships, contributing to my divorce as he just couldn't take it any more. I worked as an outreach therapist but can no longer work as my body cant handle spending so much time in my car. It has, however, had some positive effects, teaching me to slow down, not take so much for granted and get involved in other activities. I take a much greater notice in my surroundings, the beauty, and I am more grateful for the simple things in life.

2]  I try not to think of each issue I have on a daily basis, I am afraid just seeing them all that I have been diagnosed with would almost make me feel worse.
I am diabetic and have neuropathy in my feet and going up my legs. While I am medication to lesson the pain, I still have muscle spasms and sharp pains occasionally. I never know when these pains are going to start and they often catch me completely off guard.
I have arthritis in my spine, shoulders, hands and knees. I really notice this when it is going to rain, and almost all chilly and damp days. I have slipped discs in my spine and two of them have pinched off the nerves so it often feels like my sciatic nerves are acting up. Usually at the base of my spine and down my legs, but I have found this pain is starting to move further up my back.
I have been told that I must have knee surgery as I am down to bone on bone. My knees have good days and bad days. I have not noticed what the pattern is on these, doesn't seem to be completely affected by weather or activities. I have to have my diabetes better under control before they will do the surgery, hoping either this winter or sometime next year.
I have also recently been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and that too, is unpredictable as to when it will act up.
I don't know what I would consider the most bothersome, they are different but all can be difficult to manage.
 I have noticed that every single person I considered to be a friend, started to avoid me when I got really sick. This happened when the opening into my stomach became blocked and couldn't be figured out for almost a year. Its amazing how those you thought were your friends have nothing more to do with you if you get sick. I hope that is just my personal experience. I went through a long period of feeling the blues when I had to accept I could no longer do the things I have enjoyed doing for so long. That and feeling isolated really was difficult for me. This year, I began to garden, both veggies and flowers as well as going to a new large church. I feel much more positive, but I still miss my friends and the activities we used to do together.
3]I take way more medication than I would want to, but I cannot afford alternative methods including physical therapy, and my doctor said surgery or meds, my choice. I cant understand why insurance companies cant see to understand that if they spent a bit of money on what has been recommended, they could actually save in the long run.
Percocet; 10mg up to 4x a day, but I have only taken them four times twice. I hate feeling like I have to have this med, but I struggle to even move to get out of bed in the mornings and on damp days, I really feel I need these just to be able to get anything done. Otherwise, I am in bed, rolled up in a ball and crying. I have been told not to wait until I am in pain to take these meds, not to have to play catch up, but top take before I feel the pain. Since the Percocet didn't last in my system all night long and I was waking up in pain, my physician pout me on flexeril at bedtime, with the idea that it will last all night and also help me sleep. I have only been using this for about a month and have thought about discontinuing it, but I must admit, I do feel better in the mornings than before I was taking this.
I take Neurontin for the neuropathy pain and the fibromyalgia and Effexor which is supposed to help with the fibromyalgia as well as depression.
These are the primary pills I take for pain management. I have tried injections both in knees and in spine, but they have not worked for me. I worry that taking medications are just a band aid solution and would give anything if there was some other treatment they could offer.
4]  When I was younger, I didn't need pain management. I used to consider myself fortunate to always be able to get up and walk away from riding accidents. It wasn't until the last ten years or less that I began to experience long term pain, only to find out that it will never get better, only progressively worse.  I felt it creeping up on me, and finally, I felt I needed some help.  Since then, I have tried several different treatments, remained open to any suggestions, and where I used to never take a pill, now am on pain medication on a daily basis.
5] I would give my pain management tool box a letter  of D, primarily because it counts on opiates to control it. It would take some alternative form of treatment for it to have a chance of having a higher score.  This is what is missing from my toolbox. Part of the problem has to do with logistics. I live in an area that is primarily rural with few specialists to choose from who may have more updated and more optional tools with which to work.
According to my primary physician, what I am doing and what I have most likely is the best I can hope for from my pain management tool box.
Percocet;  is the foundation and most major of my pain relievers 
aleve;  kind of like the David with David and Goliath. back up for any breakthrough pain.
Flexoril; taken at night, works to relax muscles and helps me so that I do not feel so stiff when I wake up in the morning. I would rather have a personal masseur, but heck, no go.....

Blog #1 continued

4]   I am also having problems uploading an image, but, I often feel like a classic car that has been forgotten with weeds growing in and around it. Left there when parts of me gave out.
I chose this image as I was very recently divorced from a man who left me when I became ill. I was hospitalized part of 11 months out of the past year, and received no calls or visits from anyone.
  I am finally back on my feet. My body reminds me of a broken car because sometimes when you try to fix one thing on the car, something else gives. The classic car reminds me that I still have my dignity and value in others eyes.

5]I take care of myself first of all, by praying. I have found that I never haven't had a prayer answered.  I am trying all approaches to caring for myself recommended. I am open to thinking outside the box and trying most anything as long as it is something that makes sense.
What is working less well is that I cannot always afford the treatment that sounds like it may work.
What is remarkable is that I am more content and at peace with myself making much less money than when I was working

Blog #1

1]  Hello. My name is Karen and I live in lower northern Michigan. I am 57 years young, in my head anyway.  I live surrounded by a large national forest, near many rivers and streams, lakes and hiking areas. It is beautiful here and I love being one with nature.
I am passionate about interacting with the outdoors. When I look around me I am in awe of what God has provided, the beauty in the flowers and all of the wonders and wildlife in the forest, seen and many unseen. I am also very passionate about my three dogs. Since I relocated to where I now live, I know very few people so my dogs help keep me sane. I am also very passionate about going to church where I do. It is a very comforting place to be and I feel very welcome there.

(this is a new computer and I am having a problem getting it to upload pics but I will keep trying)

2]  I would have to say that my unique role amongst family and friends is my ability to work within the community and available resources to refer to people I know to get them help. It doesn't matter what their issue is, I seem to be able to help them get those resolved. Having worked as a psychotherapist for many years, I am also able to look outside the box when it comes to problem resolution including helping others remove their blinders and look at all angles instead of thinking their is only one right and that there always has to be an answer. There are many ways of getting things done and there is not always a clear answer, and acceptance of taking things as they are can prevent a lot of angst.

3] I have a very strong belief in God. When I was in a coma two years ago, I had a very vivid out of body experience. I was fully dressed and about three feet off of the ground in front of my bed, the only one in a huge room, at the head of the bed was a figure draped in a purple robe. When I came out of a ten day coma, I asked if a clergy person had come to see me, and I was told no. Once at home I looked up the color purple as it is in the bible. Jesus was said to have dressed in a purple robe when he began his trek to the cross. Prior to this I had no knowledge.  I had another near death experience eleven months ago, and it was verified that I had died on the table but I had requested they not revive me if that happened. I came back from that as well.  So, I would have to say that my belief is well founded. Whenever I feel like I am going to have a bad day, I look around and thank God for all I have and my day brightens.